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Dear White Women: How to Be an Ally - Shared screen with speaker view
Briana Chenkin (She/Her)
30:01
Welcome, all! We’ll get started in just a minute. In the meantime, please introduce yourself here in the chat, and let us know where you’re tuning in from.
Abbie (she|her)
30:27
hi everyone :) I'm Abbie, I'm a senior software engineer @ Spektrix
Maja Sandstrom
30:37
hello everyone my name is Maja (she / hers) and I am coming at you from the north side of Chicago
Alicia Martin
30:58
Hello! My name is Alicia Jade Martin and I’m tuning in from Mt. Pleasant, PA.
becca platsky
31:09
Hi all! Tuning in from Astoria NY
Abbie (she|her)
31:21
I'm here from London, UK
Kara Armstrong
31:25
Austin!
Danielle Atwood
31:26
Hi from the Hudson Valley, NY!
jackie
31:27
Hi Jackie M. tuning in from NYC
Betsy Harper
31:29
Hello from Denver!
Marisa Vickers
31:31
Austin Texas
Kathy Wang
31:32
Austin 😊
RM
31:33
RM here from DC!
Jenny Schwope
31:33
Good morning - local in Austin, TX!
Ashley Lewis
31:38
Hey from austin
Do better
31:39
Lawrence from Austin, TX!
Michele
31:40
Hello from Madison, WI
Elle Poole
31:42
Hello from Bend, Oregon!
Dani Brandtjen
31:43
Hi! So happy to be here. I’m Dani Brandtjen, joining from Austin, TX
Chelsea Tamura
31:50
Greetings from Austin!
Community Resilience Trust
32:01
Hello from Austin!
Elle Poole
32:04
Hello from Bend, Oregon!
Lisanne Norman
32:05
Morning! Lisanne from Austin, TX.
Marisa Vickers
32:06
The title caught me
Mia Voss
32:22
hi from Denver!
Carolyn Birsky
32:28
Hello from Washington, DC!
RM
32:39
Heyyy @Lisanne!!
Abbie (she|her)
32:46
reason i'm attending: to see if there is anything I can do differently in my working life to promote anti-racism and equity for all in tech
river [she/her]
32:53
Hello from a little north of Austin :)
Sara Tetreault
32:55
Hi! Sara from Oakland, CA
Matt and Louise Nelson
33:03
hey from Austin. I hope to learn ways to support BIPOC without requiring them to spend their energy teaching/coaching me
RM
33:04
@Abbie LOVE that
Alicia Martin
33:12
I’m hoping to get concrete ideas for to become a better, active ally that I can bring to my workplace.
Maja Sandstrom
33:31
want to take my activism to a deeper level, how to be anti racist at work and at home. how to better engage people in conversations around race and racism
Selene van der Walt
33:36
Hi! Here from Austin! so excited about this
Maja Sandstrom
33:44
want to take my activism to a deeper level, how to be anti racist at work and at home. how to better engage people in conversations around race and racism
Maja Sandstrom
33:54
hello everyone my name is Maja (she / hers) and I am coming at you from the north side of Chicago
Betsy Harper
33:59
@Abbie ditto! :) Looking for some action items to implement!
Kara Armstrong
34:49
i know that white women benefit the most from DEI (cough ACB), and want to make sure I’m using my privilege to raise other voices instead of crowding them out
Ashley Lewis
35:08
+ + kara!
Amelia Strother
35:10
Hello from Nashville! I’m joining because I run a gender bias course for women and want to do better in helping women of colour
RM
35:47
Glad you're here, Amelia!
RM
35:53
+1 Kara!
Mia Voss
37:30
thank you for saying that! great precedent to set for us attendees.
Aaron Coats
38:08
Howdy, all. I'm Aaron from Chicago. I'm looking forward to this conversation to take pearls to my DEI council group at my job, Emergency Nurses Association.
Nicole Dessain
39:24
Hi, I am Nicole from Chicago. I am looking for inspiration that I can bring back to my work with #HRvsRacism.
Aaron Coats
39:40
Don't clear your throat when you say you born and grew up in the 80s! You my people!
Ashley Lewis
40:41
🙌🏻fallon
Briana Chenkin (She/Her)
40:52
You can connect with the speakers on LinkedIn:Erin Ford: https://www.linkedin.com/in/theerinford/Rachael: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachaelbosch/Angelica: https://www.linkedin.com/in/angelicaerazo/Fallon: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fallon-blossom/Mindy: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mindy-gulati-she-her-72573a12b/
Valerie Connell
41:57
I had some trouble hearing Fallon...
Fallon Blossom (She/Her)
43:01
Womp. Ok - thanks for letting me know
RM
46:35
Pull up!
RM
47:16
That is so cool
RM
48:23
Love this Q!
RM
50:12
Very true
Do better
50:38
The cage metaphor was very powerful — well said
Venus V. Pineyro
50:44
I am here to continue to learn and process where my intersectionality can be helpful to others. I am Hispanic and also white and as such have experienced both sides of the coin of priviledge AND been the target of prejudice. So much complexity and also a global issue to tackle.
Ashley Lewis
52:47
Discomfort with strong emotions really holds us back
Ashley Lewis
52:59
Strong emotions / expressions of them
RM
54:21
never realized that!
Nicole Dessain
54:55
In HR we have the same issue: Approx. 80% of HR are white women. In order to design more equitable workplaces we need to realize and address this.
RM
54:58
WOW
RM
55:28
+1 Nicole D
Do better
55:30
Not even 30 minutes in and am learning a *lot*
Jennifer Harrold (She/Her/Hers)
55:31
Come on, Angelica! 👏🏾
becca platsky
55:44
Angelica, the story you’re telling now is something I only learned this year. It really shocked me, and I was upset I had never learned this before.
RM
56:40
@Becca I was today years old when I learned this
Kathy Wang
56:56
Heard you, Angelica 🙌
Kara Armstrong
57:07
Super powerful
RM
57:11
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
RM
58:02
Come through w/ the historical facts!
RM
58:55
Right!
Alicia Martin
59:19
white and queasy and here to sit with it!
RM
59:35
That is stellar advice Rachael
Angelica Erazo
01:01:08
Love the avatar reference
Mindy Gulati
01:01:09
HI! Out of legal hellscape.
RM
01:01:10
"I am not Karen's keeper."
RM
01:01:21
Need that tee
Briana Chenkin (She/Her)
01:01:44
RM, we need to make some shirts for TCDB fundraising!
Jennifer Harrold (She/Her/Hers)
01:02:19
THIS.
RM
01:02:39
💯
Maja Sandstrom
01:02:42
yes!
Briana Chenkin (She/Her)
01:03:08
“Do not ask someone to educate you through their own trauma.” - Rachael
Maja Sandstrom
01:03:11
this work takes becoming Comfortable being Uncomfortable
Nicole Dessain
01:03:12
We pulled together a few resources here that folks can use to educate themselves: https://www.hrvsracism.org/
Jacqueline Sigler
01:03:41
Thank you
Briana Chenkin (She/Her)
01:03:47
@Nicole- this is great! Can we share this in the follow up email?
Nicole Dessain
01:04:12
@Briana - yes, please!
Briana Chenkin (She/Her)
01:04:19
Thank you!!!
Ashley Lewis
01:05:06
My chat was set to just panelists, this was a link re: why poc might not trust ww: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNKZ2CxXNEQ well-meaning white women could be Prince Zuko
Maja Sandstrom
01:05:18
we all have power where we are, a voice and influence
Kara Armstrong
01:06:32
I’ve been reflecting a lot on the throughline of how white women would claim they were hurt by Black men to absolve themselves of things they were scared of in themselves — and how that didn’t go away, but repackaged itself in our social structures
Maja Sandstrom
01:07:21
lean into relationships and lean in hard
Ashley Lewis
01:07:52
Earn the title*
Alicia Martin
01:08:23
further, I don’t believe allyship is achieved once and done. it’s a process. we cannot achieve wokeness, only be continually awakening.
Novy Thaib
01:08:45
Definitely, huge difference between being an ally and being performative
Do better
01:08:50
+1. Allyship is a verb and requires continued investment, from the practical and emotional perspective
Maja Sandstrom
01:08:57
lend our power to raise important voices
RM
01:09:49
💡
Keith Aric Hall
01:09:49
Supporters not saviors
Kaitlyn Messinger
01:11:50
active listening is a key component to building relationships and developing trust
RM
01:12:14
ALSO *believe people* when they tell their story
Keith Aric Hall
01:12:24
That!
RM
01:12:27
even if that hasn't been your lived experience
Briana Chenkin (She/Her)
01:12:28
^^^YES!
RM
01:13:28
facts
RM
01:14:52
THAT PART!!
Mindy Gulati
01:15:07
Google: What does allyship look like to me? This is a way to gain lots of perspectives.
Keith Aric Hall
01:15:16
Saviorism continues to promote the myth of white superiority
RM
01:15:26
+1 Keith
Briana Chenkin (She/Her)
01:15:47
Hey carrie- if you post to the Q&Asection we’ll try to get to it during audience QA
Anne Baker
01:15:55
How do you ride the line between white saviorism and using your power as a white woman to uplift BIPOC voices?
Jennifer Harrold (She/Her/Hers)
01:16:42
@fallon , make it plain!
Briana Chenkin (She/Her)
01:16:45
Hi all- we’re going to move to audience Q&A in just a moment. Please post your questions to the zoom Q&A function and we’ll try to get to as many as possible.
RM
01:17:14
Say that
Keith Aric Hall
01:17:30
Mindy said it. Start with relationship building. Listen, learn and let the people experiencing the issues lead
Do better
01:17:40
100%, it’s about being *precise*. Are you trying to tiptoe around saying Black folks?
Novy Thaib
01:17:44
YES
Lisanne Norman
01:17:52
Talk that talk, Fallon!
RM
01:17:55
+10000
Maja Sandstrom
01:17:57
that's KEY! thank you.
Maja Sandstrom
01:18:01
++++
RM
01:18:28
Black is not a dirty word
Ashley Lewis
01:18:54
Discomfort with difference
Aaron Coats
01:18:56
Right. Don't whisper. I still be black.
RM
01:19:04
exactly
Maja Sandstrom
01:19:08
whoooweeeee feeling the discomfort with this real talk
RM
01:19:26
@Maja thank you for sitting w/ it
Jennifer Harrold (She/Her/Hers)
01:19:28
The othering is a thing ww LOVE to do in DEI by saying “women and POC”
RM
01:19:32
We're growing together
Anne Baker
01:19:40
I’m sorry. I was trying to tiptoe and will say black women in the future.
Aaron Coats
01:19:42
Indeed
Jennifer Harrold (She/Her/Hers)
01:19:54
Holding total ownership over womanhood
Kaitlyn Messinger
01:20:50
I find myself regularly second guessing myself on how to describe someone when they are black or Indian or anything other than white... It feels so uncomfortable to say it out loud as a white woman but I realize it is because I am afraid of backlash
Kara Armstrong
01:21:38
^I specifically remember my white women friends & I discussing in college our attempts at not describing people’s color - because we thought it was othering
Kara Armstrong
01:21:58
But it was colorblind racism
Kaitlyn Messinger
01:22:09
^ yes and that has stuck with me
Kaitlyn Messinger
01:22:51
I am fine to describe people this way in private, but I am so uncomfortable doing so to those outside my bubbl
Kaitlyn Messinger
01:22:54
*bubble
Do better
01:23:13
YES, FALLON
becca platsky
01:23:36
Any suggestions for the best way work through the with white women who are our bosses? Or our bosses bosses?
becca platsky
01:23:47
Work through this *
Keith Aric Hall
01:23:48
Fallon!!!
RM
01:23:52
Do less!
Maja Sandstrom
01:24:05
💜 move with intention
Chelsea Tamura
01:24:08
Yes, Fallon. Intentionalism! +100
Aaron Coats
01:24:12
"I'll just pause there..." It's like the catchphrase of a superhero. I mean that in the best way possible.
Aaron Coats
01:25:48
not participating in the "group project" but still getting the full grade
Abbie (she|her)
01:25:59
what is an ERG?
Angelica Erazo
01:26:06
Employee Resource Group
Abbie (she|her)
01:26:10
thanks
Kaitlyn Messinger
01:26:32
Employee Resource Group
Do better
01:26:54
We all have a role to play, and sometimes that’s giving your seat at the table to someone more qualified
Carrie Corbin
01:28:11
(resending to all instead of just panelists)I think it's the inherent conflict from the DEI teams driving membership - and THEY have good intentions, but it's the assessing your audience and if they want those people there - and that's always been my concern in asking is that it potentially violates the safe space.
Do better
01:28:44
Lovely practical advice Mindy
Carrie Corbin
01:28:59
Great advice. Thank you :)
Lee
01:29:17
What if I don't know if someone is Black, Latinx, Indigenous, etc... how do I best refer to them without side-stepping who they are but also without categorizing them to a group they don't associate with?
Carrie Corbin
01:30:39
@Fallon I love that your role is not to make allies comfortable (and I'm sure Rachael loves that too, haha)
Do better
01:30:41
Ask them. :) Be uncomfortable. But have an intent first: why does that bit of context matter
river [she/her]
01:30:42
Can we get more of Fallon, please? She’s saying what needs to be said
Jennifer Harrold (She/Her/Hers)
01:30:58
@lee I think a good question to ask yourself is “why do I need to categorize them at all?” Thinking of the reason why you’re talking about someone’s “category” will help lead you to the ways to figure out the “how"
Kortni Malone
01:31:00
Preach Fallon!
Jennifer Harrold (She/Her/Hers)
01:31:50
@lee, is it for professional reasons? Are you talking about them in personal circles? Are you talking about them in public spaces?etc
Briana Chenkin (She/Her)
01:32:04
It’s almost time for the breakout sessions! This is an opportunity for you to dive deeper, network and ask these DEI leaders more questions. Please open the link below in your browser to find the topics, links + passwords to each panelist's session. You’ll have ~30 min: https://docs.google.com/document/d/12HhnkalSXc7H8NPpq3rMd2Qhs0Dp7Nwp3D-O4G-0l7U/edit?usp=sharing
Briana Chenkin (She/Her)
01:33:07
It’s almost time for the breakout sessions! This is an opportunity for you to dive deeper, network and ask these DEI leaders more questions. Please open the link below in your browser to find the topics, links + passwords to each panelist's session. You’ll have ~30 min: https://docs.google.com/document/d/12HhnkalSXc7H8NPpq3rMd2Qhs0Dp7Nwp3D-O4G-0l7U/edit?usp=sharing
Abbie (she|her)
01:34:58
thank you!
Maja Sandstrom
01:35:01
thank you everyone!
Alicia Martin
01:35:05
thank you so much.
Community Resilience Trust
01:35:08
THANK YOU to all of the panelists for expending your energy and sharing your insights with us. Amazing
Bethany Sonefeld
01:35:10
👏🏼
Angelica Erazo
01:35:11
Loved being on the panel with you Rachael, Fallon and Mindy! Thanks Erin for moderating.
Do better
01:35:12
Thanks y’all, this was *amazing*
Eva Rajewski
01:35:20
Amazing! Thanks so much everyone!